From Chairman...

Indeed, this has been a day of triumph! This recognition really goes
to all those who believed in me and who were part of my formative
years as an internist. It has been my honor to have been endorsed by
the department, to have been chosen as a semi finalist, then a
finalist finishing as a runner-up. Your show of support and messages
was really overwhelming and heartwarming giving me the feeling of a
real winner …..I am really elated.

Special thanks to the men and women of the department of medicine
headed by Dra. Mateo , a mentor, a real mother.

Dr. Mario Panaligan and Dr. Eric Moral for their wonderful recommendation…

To my dear batchmates who gave me their unconditional support…

To my CRM family for their encouragement and my co-fellows, who were
there up to the final moment…hehe

Of course to my family, PALS, Fr. Dex and best friends….

To GOD who made all of these possible….

As a final note….let us be a source of pride and honor with or without
a badge of honor. We shall remain steadfast in our commitment to our
profession…our vocation….we shall continue to be Physicians Caring for
the Philippines…….

(Umaga na, ganito yata nagagawa ng sobra busog takot matulog…..salamat
Dra. Mateo sa Dinner….DISCLAIMER: wala hihingi ng blowout, saka na pag
may stipend na…hahaha)


-posted for Chairman Roland Panaligan

Patay na si Timothy

Patay na si Timothy. Matapos ng ilang buwan na pananatili sa staff room ay patay na si Timothy. Natagpuan siyang patay sa loob ng comfort room sa library na kasalukuyan nililinis ng superclean. Sino si Timothy?

Si Timothy ang dahilan ng pagkagutom ng ilang MROD noong panahon ng Ondoy matapos kagatan ang mga groceries sa staff room.

Si Timothy ang kumain ng mangga ni Apol na bigay ni Marla.

Si Timothy ang dahilan ng pagkatoxic ni Pons noong panahon ng Lepto.

Ano ang nangyari kay Timothy?

Huli kong nakita si Timothy na masayang nagswimming sa timba. There was no signs of distress. No alar flaring. Moves all extremities with no limitation. Hindi ito ang unang pagkakataon na na-shoot si timothy sa timba. Noong unang beses madaling nakatakas si Timothy dahil puno ang timba nang tubig. Ngunit ngayon kalahati lamang ang laman ng timba. The timba is half empty kaya hindi siya makalabas which lead to fatigue and eventual cardiorespiratory arrest secondary to drowning. Hindi na siya naintubate. Hindi man lang siya napa-bless. Naiwan ni Timothy ang ilang mga bubwit sa piling ni Timothy Sr.

Bittersweet...

Leaders should lead as far as they can and then vanish.
Their ashes should not choke the fire they have lit. - HG Wells

An Open letter to the MRODS

To my dear co-residents:

In a few days time, my term is about to end. Soon I will endorse to the next chief...What a relief=) But, let me first reminisce how it was offered to me...
My dear batchmates convinced me to take the position...
I have one condition: that they will support me and my plans and cunning as they are...they agreed, and so when dra purino asked me if i am willing... i answered yes without batting an eyelash...(and then afterwards, asked myself if i did the right decision?)

I had so many plans and visions.I was very utopian you might say.Will I be able to make it work?
I have to make it work.

What did i learned? I learned that it was VERY hard...
I have 29 other individuals on my shoulder (it may mean literal at times..
i remember one masseur asking if i do weight lifting because my shoulder is too tight and is comparable to a "kargador"=)...
each person is a character all his/her own...No two persons are alike... but I really tried to make my approach individualized...
Being known for my quick temper, I have learned to try to keep it cool ...
but it was tough, very tough...

I had my share of tears... (with emphasis on the s... plural form!!!) I sometimes feel that i hurt too much because i care too much... but what do you expect me to do?

Regrets? I have none... My ways, styles and decision-making may not be popular to all of you,
but no one can question my sincerest desire to help each one of us be better, if not the best...

However, i sincerely apologize for my mistakes... missteps... and brutal frankness...
afterall, i am human also (though some of you might think that i am superwoman)

On the lighter side... i would like to thank each one of you for giving me the confidence that i can pull this act together....
Especially to my batchmates who have not faltered in their promise
and for the very open and constructive criticisms of me when i am making a mistake...
you guys kept me sane and grounded...
To all my co-residents: Thank you for allowing me to lead you.
It was an honor and pleasure on my part to have served you guys even for a year...
Thank you for making the whole housestaff feels like a family...as i have always wanted it to be...
Thank you for supporting my plans and visions. It was nice to serve all of you while it lasted.

To the next chief: (whoever he/she may be).
Warning: Know that this is not for the fainthearted nor for commitment-phobia persons...But, it is an honor to be bestowed upon the confidence of your colleagues that you can lead them
Advice? Accept the position wholeheartedly without buts or ifs... The demand is huge... the responsibilities are gargantuan... but at the end of the day, it is the fulfillment of being able to serve that will keep you going...and be an example, a good leader is a good follower first!

Godbless.

Pam Mancio

P.S. yearend grade for me?=)

Its over...

tapus na... tapus na ang resident's night.

Years na rin since nag-start akong tumulong sa resident's night ng mga MRODs. I was a clerk nung nag-boy friday ako habang nagtuturo nang sayaw si J-ann (na ngayon eh neuro resident at nanalo nang residents night this year). Tapus, nung intern ako, I was the one who tallied the scores... kasama ko pa yata si marvin nun...

As a pre-res nag-cover ako nang ward, and finally the past 3 resident's night nasa entablado na ko...

Kakaibang asenso rin, mula sa taga aral nang sayaw para maituro sa mga absent na resident o kaya naman para paulit ulit na ipakita sa mga residenteng sadyang parehong kaliwa ang paa o kaya naman ay walang sense of timing hangang sa akinin ko rin ang mga sayaw at tugtug ng resident's night. Malayulayo na rin.

Malaki rin naman ang aming improvement. Nung first year wala kaming maayos na costume, di maayos ang sayaw at nag-mukha kaming nag-prapraktis. Kaya umuwi kaming talunan, nakayuko man ang ulo eh may ngiti pa. Sumunod, nag second place kami although sabi nang iba dyan eh dapat daw first place... I think bias sila dahil nang nakita ko ang video, aba, eh maganda ang costume! maayos din yung ibang sayaw. Yun nga lang para medyo kulang sa practice pagdating sa aming black light gimick na Poseidon. Underwater effect sana yun at nag mukha ngang underwater dahil nagmistulang inatake kami nang pating sa nagkagulo naming sayaw. kanya kanya, everyonve for himself, ika nga...

This year, ngayong 3rd year na... parang nag-iba ang pakiramdam ko sa Resident's night. Dati kasi, parang ayaw mo mag-pakahirap, kasi pagod ka na nga sa ward tapos late ka pa uuwi dahil sa practice. ngunit ngayon, parang hinahabol no na rin ang pag-kakataon mong makalahok sa kasiyahan ng residents night. kasi, last na... of all the residents night that I became part of I think dito ako pinaka nag-enjoy. Masaya ang practice at kahit mahihirap ang mga steps, nakaktuwa na rin lalong lalo na pag nagegets mo na ang sayaw. Para bang kakaibang achievement. well, paminsan-minsan lang naman tayo kung sumayaw. This year, 3rd place kami pero, I think this year was the most enjoyable resident's night ever. at least for me. yun nga lang last na.

they're only words.

We learn to speak by age 2 but it takes us a lifetime to learn how to shut up...

In all the ways a human is able to express himself, I guess speaking is used the most. It helps us to let the other people know what we know, what we think, what we don't know, what we want them to do... and the list goes on...

But speaking also allows us to express our feelings... it gives us an outlet to the pain, the anger, love that we feel inside... kaya nga siguro napasigaw na lang si Anakin Skywalker nang siya ay naging si Darth Vader... he probably just wanted to let it all out...

The spoken language, like time, cannot be taken back... pag-nasabi mo na, nasabi mo na... parang grandrounds, audit o kaya Candy Pangilinan...

Sometimes, in our relation to others, we say things we don't really mean, or haven't really thought of... or out of the "spur of the moment" tipong temporary insanity...

At other times, we get so angry or hurt or worked up and think of the best things to say in order to hurt back, fight back and come out the winner in the word-fight.

When we're able to control ourselves and keep the word we have created to ourselves... we feel frustrated and sometimes like a looser... But when we allow ourselves to explode say the perfectly horrid things we have conjured up in our minds, we feel triumphant... at least at first... then perhaps guilt, then often times regret... Regret that we have said what we wanted to say when we wanted to say it... why do we feel like this? I don't know... Is it because we have allowed ourselves to be taken over by anger? Because being angry means that your not "nice"? or maybe because we have hurt someone intentionally? Ewan... you go figure.

But why did we speak out of anger? well, we're expressing ourselves. And more often than not, we're just letting it out... But also, when we speak out of anger we get to say things we can never take back and damage relationships which will never be the same.

And so, when we receive words spoken out of anger, perhaps we should think: galit lang siguro siya, baka temporary insanity lang, o kaya naman, may kasalanan din ba ako?

But why did I write this? we'll, I'm explaining myself. Because sometimes, I'm just letting it out... and maybe, I have said things that I wish I could take back... Ewan... you go figure.

SINO SI CHANOY?

Ang buong pangalan ko po ay Chandy Lou P. Malong. Sabi nga sa blog ni Pam, ang ibig sabihin ng Lou ay “famous warrior”. Hindi ko alam kung saan nakuha ng mga magulang ko ang pangalang Chandy. I’ve only known 2 persons na kapangalan ko. One is a doctor from India na nalaman ko habang nasa RTD kami ng bagong ET tube, and yung isa, e inagawan ako ng pangalan sa gmail! Ang special sa pangalan ko aside from being unique and rare, is the fact that since hindi nga common, madalas, nabibinyagan ako ng bagong identity:

Sa Starbucks, ang sabi ng isang barista: “Tall white choco mocha for ma’am Cheny!”
Nung grade school ako, sabi ng teacher ko during attendance: “Is Candy present?”
Lumala pa yan nung med school na. Sabi ni Dra.Monzon nung roll call: “Saan si Candy Loli?” Kulang na lang ang “-pop” para maging candy at lollipop at siguro, lalanggamin na ako.
Napagkamalan na din akong Muslim nung bagong salta ako sa Maynila nung College dahil sa last name ko (Malong). Ang tanong sakin ng katabi ko nung 1st day: “So, saang part ng Mindanao ka nakatira?” Nung mga panahong yon ay parang gusto kong lagyan ng turban yung katabi ko.
Nung minsan naman na may nagtanong kung ano middle name ko, ang sabi ko, “Patiag”. Ang follow up question nya ay, “Kaano-ano mo si Cynthia, Cynthia Patag?” Haler!
At ang newest identity ko na naging dahilan ng pag-blog ko ay “Chanoy” dahil sa isang consultant na hindi na yata naalala ang pangalan ko kahit 1 month kami magkasama.

Ako: Dr, gud PM po, magcourtesy call lang po sana ako. MROD Chandy Malong po.
Consultant: ok. Hindi ba dapat consultant ka na? (I think she is pertaining to my sister)
Ako: Ay, hindi po. Kapatid po nya ako. Nephrologist na po yun.
Consultant: A ok. What na nga 1st name mo?
Ako: Chandy po dr.
Consultant: So ilan na mga pasyente natin?
Ako: madami-dami po yatang mapapamana. but I have not seen them yet po.
Consultant: Ok. sige Chanoy magrarounds na lang ako.

At iyon na, dahil sa tuwa ay naikwento ko sa mga co-MRODs ko at nabinyagan na nga ako.

Bakit ko ba ito isinusulat? Kasi, like Marvin, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. To those who know me, I have more troubles to deal with besides residency training. I’m blessed with more trials siguro, kasi, kaya ko namang dalhin. One question crossed my mind, “Who have I become?”

Bago ako naging si Chanoy, ako muna ay isinilang noong ika-14 ng Agosto (yes, katatapos lang ng birthday ko) naging isang batang makulit nung elementary na ayaw matulog sa tanghali at ayaw matulog ng maaga pag gabi. Marami din akong pinerfect na quizzes gaya ni Marvin (Models Inc. level!) at kung medalya lang ang pag-uusapan, madami din ako nun. Pero, sa lahat ng magiging ako, dalawang bagay ang pinakagusto ko. First on the list is when I became a mother and second is when I passed the Medical Board Exam and given this great task of extending the healing hands of the Lord. Kaya ayan, dumating na si Chanoy. So sino si Chanoy?

Sa mga Clerks, si Chanoy ay ang residente na kailangan, nagbasa ka bago makapag-refer kung hindi…..(kaya nga na-IR e! hehe!). Pero one thing’s for sure, they will always learn something they can apply forever! Madalas madidinig ang mga katagang, “Kung nanay or tatay or kapatid mo yan, would you want a doctor like you to handle them?”

Sa mga Intern, si Chanoy ay ang Interns’ monitor na mahilig manoxic lalo na sa mga admitting history, referrals, orientation, or audit. Well, talagang ganun! I just hope they see beyond the “panonoxic”.

Sa mga co-residents ko, hindi ko alam how they really see me. I feel na bitin talaga ang time palagi spent with them for leisure kasi ang dami work. But each time spent with laughters equals a dose of Meperidine (nakakahigh at nakakawala ng pain and pagod, kasi, nakakapagod talaga maging MROD pag hindi ka nakipag-usap. Kailangan mo ng co-MROD na mag-iinspire sayo at magpapaalala na hindi ka nag-iisa.) Chanoy will always be your co-resident, HONORED AND THANKFUL that all of you have contributed to WHO I have become today. You are my sisters and brothers and thank you for bearing with me. Sa mga seniors ko na aalis na in few months, para sa inyo talaga ito. Ito lang ang masasabi ko:

Ruby: Darating din yun. Huwag magmadali. Hehe. You will always bring joy sa kahit sinong kasama mo.
Meanne: Good luck sa life that you’re about to have (saw the ring). I believe you’ll be a great fellow! Dito ka UST ha!
Marvin: Umamin ka na. Bagay sayo ang Cardio! Actually, kaya mo kahit ano (Models Inc level!). Mag-paper ka muna! Just want to say, I appreciate what you do everyday (kahit hindi kita nakikita everday). Haha.
Jeff: OPD partner! Ipagpatuloy mo ang pagiging isang mabuting ehemplo!
Andrew: I’ll always remember you as the antagonist! the statistician, the organizer! Mamimiss kita sa caroling!
Apol: Ikaw ang bumuhay sa amin! Ikaw ang ama namin! Pinakain mo kami! Dahil dyan…. Hail Apol!
Pam: salamat sa mga reminders mo thru text. You know you’re a good leader.
Marla: You have helped me a lot in fulfilling my duties as a mother lalo na pag nakikiusap ako sa sched. I haven’t thanked you enough. Very responsible! Very tall like a Tall-nut!
Celeste: Ahhhhh, si Celeste! Thank you for the trust and the confidence in me. Pag naging nanay ka na, I’ll be around to help if you need one.
Sam: Tham-tham! Our Indonesian teddy bear! Hope you enjoyed your stay in our country.

Nawa’y maging mapayapa and matiwasay din kami next year.

Toilet Wisdom

Dati may nabasa akong article na "biochemically" inclined daw ang isang tao na kumanta habang nasa loob ng banyo. Bata pa ako noong nabasa ko yun. Parang tinawanan ko lang yata yun at hindi nagbother na maghanap ng peer-reviewed, double-blind RCTs o mga meta-analysis.

Pero siguro nga may something magical tungkol sa banyo kaya napapa-isip ka nang matatalinghagang bagay. Parang kanina. Nakalimutan ko ang pagdagundong ng dibdib ko dahil sa nalalpit kong bitay, aka endo grandrounds, noong nakapagmuni-muni ako habang naliligo.

Kamakailan lang kasi nakita ko sa Facebook ang isa kong classmate noong pre-school and early gradeschool ako. At hindi ko na siya nakita ever since. Literally, hindi ko siya nakilala noong tinitingnan ko ang profile picture niya. Kung hindi lang talaga ako familiar sa name niya (at hindi common ang name niya) hindi ko iisipin na kilala ko siya. Pero noong in-accept na niya ko at tiningnan ko ang iba niyang pictures saka lang ako na-convince na siya nga iyon.

Mayroon siyang mga wedding pictures doon sa album niya. Wow! Ang ganda talaga. Big time yung photog niya. Pagkatapos kong tingnan yung mga picture niya, napansin ko yung mga profile picture at mga pangalan ng mga ka-FB ko. Ang daming may second name na. And almost all of them, picture ng baby nila yung profile pic.


Lub dub. Lub dub.


Ang tanda ko na pala talaga.


Splash. Splash.


People around me are engaged, married and have kids.


Lub du-dup. Lub du-dup.


Nag-congestive heart failure ako noong naalala ko na 6:00 am na at grandrounds ako. Pero yun nga yung distinct about my morning and my every morning for that matter. While I am busy trying to remember the slides I will present later (or pag run down ng CVU patients sa utak ko isa-isa on any other day) other people are busy doing the "non-doctor" things.

Habang ang status ko ay "getting ready for my grandrounds" sila ay "treats her kid to this dessert," or "does not want to go to work today," or "has changed her relationship status and is now engaged." Tapos na yung period na debut ang ina-attendan. Kasalan at binyagan na ang "in" ngayon among my friends. (Sana matagal pa bago yung burol na ang new form of reunion.)

Iba nga siguro pag nag-doktor ka. Sabi nga ni Cory Aquino, pag naging presidente ka, "you must be prepared to live simply." Pero siguro pag doktor ka dahil di mo alam kung pano maging presidente, you must be prepared to leave your life as you knew it. Hindi maga-apply ang norms ng society, as if may toggle switch ang social life mo at na-switch off na siya til further orders.

Hay.

Pero siguro puyat lang ako, and maybe I am spending too much time on FB. (O, hindi ka guilty sa latter? Ha? Ha?)

Ubos na ang tubig sa timba sa CCU. This is it pancit. Grandrounds na. Rounds mamaya.